Despair

A couple of months back, just for the heck of it, I sent in one of my poems in the short poetry contest online. And then I received an email followed by another email that read:

Dear Celine,
Several weeks ago, we informed you by mail that our editors have certified your poem "Despair" as a semi-finalist in our International Open Poetry Contest. I'm writing to remind you that your poem will automatically be entered into the final competition held in Fall 2007. As a semi-finalist, you now have an excellent chance of winning one of 104 cash or gift prizes--including the $1,000.00 First Prize. You may even win the $10,000.00 annual Grand Prize! We wish you the best of luck as you compete for these prizes in the coming weeks.

Wow. I have a chance to win $10,000.00 in the annual Grand Prize! Would someone actually give me that amount if I win?

I receive a large number of emails in the office mailboxes (and personal boxes also) everyday, some of which is spam. I have got so used to sorting and distributing these emails that, over a period of time, with one quick glance, I am able to categorize which ones are official and which are not.

This experience though, has made me quite skeptical about the genuine ones too, as far as emails are concerned. I, therefore, did not bother to reply to the International Open Poetry Contest organizers to pursue the matter further. Alas! By not responding, I have lost a golden opportunity that had come knocking at my door to win the Poetry Contest. My chance to win $10,000.00 is gone, straight down the drain!

I am sad. I am disheartened. I am inconsolable. I am sorrowful. I cannot endure this pain, it’s unbearable, and I am in agony. This is unbelievable…haha!

Now jokes apart, did that email help me in any way? Oh yes, it did. I got all the encouragement I needed and started writing furiously. I felt like I was Shakespeare reincarnated and started writing not just poetry but literature too. But sadly, the works resembled my own style and not Shakespeare's! Never mind. I guess I am not too bad either. That's not me; it's my modest voice speaking:P I have a few poems now. What do I do with them? Oh no, not another online contest. I have a better idea! Guessed it? Yes, absolutely right. With a glint in my eye, I am directing my gaze at my new friends on this community of bloggers here..haha - you can't escape now!

On a serious note, the ‘Despair’ that I felt while writing this poem in those days was genuine. It was an intense emotional stage I was drowned in and an attempt to express those feelings was made in this poem and in the subsequent ones too. Thankfully, the devastating phase in my life that I went through sometime back has passed. I guess I should also add that today, I am fine..well, almost there!

So, my dear readers, if I share that poem here, will you give me an award? A few words of your thoughts on this would be a fitting accolade.

Here’s my MILLION dollar worth poem:

Despair
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In despair, disenchanted,
Sorrowful and disillusioned,

Like slaps on my face, this pain,
Didn't expect to hit me again,

I hurt, I cry, henceforth all alone,
'Cause near me, there's no one,

Forsaken and abandoned,
For loving you – is this my award?

Cannot endure, its unbearable,
This agony, unbelievable,

Torment, suffering, excruciating pain,
I must suffer this, for someone else's gain.

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